What lies behind "The Ugly Truth"

Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Men control their feelings while women are more emotionally responsive. Women want love and commitment while men want lust and are unfaithful. These are the many sayings/stereotypes that continue to surface when discussing gender relations...and to be honest, I am so sick of hearing about the differences between men and women and how less and less women will ultimately fail in finding Mr. Right and how men don't understand the meaning of commitment even if it hit them. And of course, our good friend, the media, uses and exaggerates these gender differences/ stereotypes only to leave more and more enmity between men and women. Additionally, some media interpretations of gender relations offer a far-fetched, fantasy approach that again do nothing for the discord between men and women. Yet another film attempts to tackle the never ending relationship issues between men and women. Grey's Anatomy and Knocked Up star, Katherine Heigl and 300 hottie, Gerard Butler join forces in the romantic comedy, The Ugly Truth.

In the film, Abby Ritcher (played by Heigl) is a beautiful yet relationship challenged T.V. producer who's television program and life is conveniently interrupted by the overtly sexist and opinionated T.V. personality Mike Chadaway (played by Butler). Abby's story is the reality for many successful women...and it gets old. Abby has a seemingly decent career, looks to match, her own place, and all the other things most women want in life...except a man. Perhaps the film makers were going for a storyline that some women can relate all too well to (and since this particular market is more likely to spend their money to go see the movie). But seriously, how many times do we have to hear/see this on the big screen and on television? Yes there are women out there, established in their careers who want love, commitment, and the m-word...but (believe it or not) there are also more and more women, more than most people think, that could care less if they are in a relationship, let alone looking to settle down with a man. Sometimes I feel like this repetitive storyline sabotages these women into thinking that there is something wrong with them if they aren't desperately seeking love/marriage via eHarmony.com, club hopping, blind dates, church, or cheap reality shows.

The message has two parts and is really quite clear and conventional-1. women, not matter how successful they are in their professional lives, do not appear to be complete or personally satisfied unless they are in a healthy, heterosexual relationship. 2. women cannot have it all. In Abby's case, her professional life (which has its fair share of challenges) is generally going well while her personal life is on the rocks. And to be honest, I respect the second aspect of the message but there is a vital element missing. Women, we can't have it all PERFECT. Some women think they can achieve this supermom/superwife status without pulling their hair out or sacrificing some aspect of their lives. But I also think for this film to take a cheap shot in representing women (at least the leading lady) is a thumbs down from me. Men and women are more alike than one tends to believe. Just like men, women also run from the idea of long term relationships and just wanna have fun.

Speaking of men, the film also takes a drastic approach in depicting men. Take Mike for example. He is your stereotypical guy-verbally gross, misogynist, sexist, who fails to commit to any woman other than the one in his favorite porn film. Mike is extreme...and what many women unfortunately think of men. Again, film makers probably created Butler's character in this way because of the entertainment factor. And I'm not going to sit here and say these men don't exist because I have encountered them more than one's life should permit. Yet, it is not fair to men to have the leading male character in a movie to be once again portrayed as a complete jerk and idiot. I think the good men get enough hassles from this stereotype.


Even though Mike made me wanna knock some sense in him with my feminist beliefs, he raised a very good point in the film that I will repeat without giving away the movie. Women do tend to have this readily available checklist in regards to looking for that perfect man. We want him to be successful (which many times means financially successful), educated, romantic, 6'1'', sensitive but not too feminine, dimples (in both cheeks preferably), a certain race, a certain religion, 170-220lbs, humorous, sexually equipped, not gay, family oriented, and the list goes on and on and on. This is not to say that women should not desire these specific characteristics or any others in men...but maybe not all of them in ONE man. And ladies this does not mean we are settling for less rather making room for growth in our expectations and in future relationships. But that is another blog topic that I will tackle in the future.

To add a humanistic side to the barbaric Mike, the audience learns that he is the way he is due to his own problems with love. He has been left heart broken too many times by too many women. And now, to protect himself from another heartbreak or the risk of falling in love, he adapts the personality of a shallow, insecure moron. I again have a problem with this. I have heard this scenario a billion times from my boyfriend and guy friends; the man that you now know as a jerk once was a sincere gentlemen that happened to be smacked in the face by love from the opposite sex. So now we are blaming women for a man's lack of knowing how to deal with heartbreak and turning to the other side? Please. This is the same well known situation when a woman carries emotional baggage from one relationship to another, it just appears the emotional baggage in a man's case is shielded and expressed through belligerent behavior. In reality, I find this a bit irresponsible and I rolled my eyes when I saw that the movie included this cliche storyline. Let Mike be a jerk without all the other lame excuses attached to it.

I will give the film this-the chemistry between Heigl and Butler is great and adorable for lack of better words. The wise cracks between the two are hilarious and it doesn't hurt that both are physically attractive. But I can't see past the fact that the film attempts to put a modern twist on issues between men and women by using traditional, gender stereotypes. I feel like there lies a horrible oxymoron somewhere in there. Although The Ugly Truth gives audiences some laugh out loud moments that are original, the film doesn't really offer any type of solutions or an ending that we haven't already seen in many redundant, always-predictable, romantic comedies. Somehow, the self-proclaimed control freak falls for the heartbroken jerk. The message is disturbing-ladies, look past that imbecile who your mother told you to stay far away from. He's really a soft teddy bear inside who's secretly looking for love. And men, it's ok to be the most annoyingly rude person to that woman you have your eyes on. She knows you're into her and she loves it. You have to be a little more creative than that Hollywood. All in all, The Ugly Truth is painfully average and you don't have to see the movie to figure out the whole entire plot since it is extremely easy to foretell. I give it a 6 out of 10 (which may be a little generous).

I am not every girl

Today's music industry (at least most mainstream rap) is not my piece of cake...more like nails scratching a chalkboard. Now, calling a woman a bitch is more common than calling her by her name. But before you rolls your eyes and think this is another one of those "let's be PC", anti-hip hop blogs, I'm not going in that direction completely (although there will be some elements of this). What I will do is shed some light on a story that moves us in a more positive direction.

So we all know about the performance featuring Drake, Lil Wayne, and Young Money at this year's BET awards (I even knew about it...and at the time, I was in friggin SPAIN!). We all know that in general, the performance took the meaning of tasteless and the attempts of T.V. censorship to another level. And we all know that they rapped the following lyrics to the hit song "Every Girl":

Uh, I like a long hair thick red-bone
open up her legs to filet mignon that pussy
I'ma get in an' out that pussy
if she let me in, i'ma own that pussy
go on' throw it back and bust it open like
you 'posed to girl,
i got that dope dick
now come here lemme dope you
you gon' be a dope fiend,
your friends should call you Dopey















All that after saying that the performance was dedicated to the late Michael Jackson. Yea. Ok. Yes, yes it was another "head down in shame" moment for many. And with the little middle school and high school girls (at least that's what they looked like) dancing around to the very song that degrades and dehumanizes them, I thought kinda hopelessly to myself, "This is how it is now? Have we become this desensitized? This is how we view our young girls and women? This is hip hop? This is what we consider Black entertainment?" And I also thought that from airing this song on radio stations and the performance on television, this must be what the majority of people today deem as acceptable. But thank the Lord not everyone found the performance acceptable, let alone entertaining.

Milan and Imani Ford also tuned into the BET awards and that gut-wrenching performance...and were appalled like people with sense should be. But they didn't just sit around like me and many others complaining about how disgusting and outrageous the song is...they created a movement against the song and all that it glorifies. The movement is an online campaign called IAMNOTEVERYGIRL.COM that petitions for the removal of the song "Every Girl" from every radio station or at least limit the play time during the hours of 12:30am-6am. Currently however, the couple is focusing on three popular radio stations in Atlanta. There are also other important objectives to this campaign such as educating audiences about the effects of listening to these type of explicit lyrics.

What makes me extremely pleased about this particularly campaign is that a man, a BLACK man, is the navigator for a change. So many times, people just roll their eyes and let out a big sigh when they hear another black woman complaining about sexually explicit lyrics in rap music. But this time, a brotha has stood and said enough is enough! What are we teaching our daughters? (That is no way to say that the rap industry is responsible for raising our children...but whether people in and outside of the rap industry want to believe it or not, rap music DOES have an influence on the youth). Also, the couple is not anti Lil Wayne or anti-hip hop. They seem to be however anti-exploitation, anti-objectification, anti-ignorance, and may I dare say anti-coonery. They acknowledge Lil Wayne's talent but feel that it is unfortunate that he has chosen to use it disdaining manner (and I completely agree). Lil Wayne isn't the first nor will he be the last rapper to include inhumane lyrics about owning pussy and hoes and the whole nine yards. That's the image many rappers have to sell (when in reality they are really selling themselves short...look beyond the fame and money please).

What I can't understand is why some people are completely against this campaign. First, we have the people who feel the campaign takes away from the freedom to choose to listen to any type of music and the freedom of speech. Riiight. Don Imus had that same freedom of speech when he called Rutgers University women's basketball team nappy headed hoes...and the black community about had a fit and demanded that he be fired. Now, I am not saying what Don Imus said was no where near right (I was with the black community on this one). BUT what I fail to understand is why we aren't demanding something similar from rappers. Does it really have to be racially fueled and take a white man to call a black woman a hoe for some people in the black community to realize that this type of degradation is unacceptable? Better yet, why is it acceptable for rappers (who are majority black) to call women (who are often times black women) bitches and hoes. Please, do us a social favor and stop referring to black women and women in general as bitches and hoes...please be more creative.

Others are asking , "why this song? Why now? There have been plenty other songs of this nature and some worst." Yes these people are right, there are far worse songs out there (although honestly, sometimes this is hard for me to believe since most of mainstream hip hop is about the same ol same ol). But we CAN NOT continue to bob our heads to songs with this type of message. After all, I am sure black people would not dance to a song that talks about how slavery and segregation were the best things in history..at least I hope not. When it comes down to issues of race/racial discrimination, black people sound the horn and out comes Al Sharpton. But when it comes down to issues of gender/objectification of women, at times it seems as though we turn our head the other way.

Needless to say, I am elated that Milan and Imani have decided to turn the other away to this type of entertainment. For more information about the movement, check out their website iamnoteverygirl.com

Introducing NeoJazz

HELLO WORLD!

Although introducing myself makes me cringe most times, the title of this blog would be a little pointless if I didn't do what it said. My name is Jasmine Roberts and I am new to the blogging world. I come from the Buckeye state but proudly attend the University of Michigan. Actually now that I think about it, a formal introduction really isn't needed. Those who visit my blog will quickly learn what type of person I am, interests, and the whole shabangabang. I created this blog with hopes of not only getting my voice heard in cyberspace, but encountering people who share my same concerns and people who can advance my way of thinking. It will cover a variety of issues, some important/serious and others completely pointless/humorous. But I must warn you world...this blog was NOT created to please people nor to attract destructive attention. This blog serves as an outlet for the little voice inside that many times we do not listen to. Who knows, it may even be informative and (*gasp*) educational...